Ladies First (concluding part)

   Timmy “Titty” Torrentino hated his job but he loved the money. He was a criminal alright, he just didn’t like the sort of trouble that came with the job. Timmy had promised himself he’d never work for the mafia but his bad gambling habit made him break that promise. He had gone gambling one night in the only casino in town but because he was too drunk to tell if he was losing or winning, he didn’t know when to stop. When he finally got tired he had owed more than he could ever pay.

   The owner of the casino was nice to Timmy. In exchange for cancelling his debts, Timmy had to work for him. “I need more manpower” the owner had said.

   Timmy had started of being a shaker. His job was to scare anybody who owed his boss money. With his menacing look and build, Timmy had no problem scaring those he didn’t even intend to.

Timmy’s boss had almost been killed by someone he had been told was dead. Somehow he had managed to escape with a bullet scrape. He then felt he needed someone he could trust to make sure the assassins he hired actually did their job and since Timmy had been tested on numerous occasions by his boss and passed the tests without even knowing he was taking the tests, he was given the job. He wasn’t a shaker no more, he was now “The Chaperone”.

   It was Timmy’s second time of tailing an assassin. Judging from the first time, the job was a pretty easy one. Stay out of sight until the assassin tells you the job is done, go in, make sure the target is dead, report back to the boss.

   As he followed the assassin’s car, he wondered why he had stopped at McDonalds. “Why go through the trouble of feeding someone when you would kill the person few minutes later”. He thought to himself. “The weird things these assassins do”

   He knew one who only killed women and that was because he loved to have sex with his targets and just when she’s about to climax, he’d strangle her. Timmy wondered how the targets must feel like at that point. To have the perfect mixture of pain and pleasure going through your body must be incredible. He thought it was to die for.

   Just as he started appreciating his little pun, his phone started ringing. He picked it up and heard a voice at the other end say “it’s done”

   Two minutes later he was knocking on door 4514 in the hotel he had tailed the assassin to. Before he knocked a second time, the assassin had opened the door. He moved out of the way for Timmy to enter the room.

   Everything seemed in order. From the tasteful furniture of the room down to the body of a lady lying in what Timmy thought to be a pool of the lady’s blood. He turned his head to look at the assassin and just as he was about to tell him to get rid of the body, he felt something rip through his chest. His shirt was getting wet and he was starting to feel woozy. He touched the wet spot as he fell to his knees. Knowing only too well what could have caused the wet spot, he regretted coming to the hotel. His knees held him up long enough for him to see the lady on the floor walk past him with a gun.

   Timmy felt his blood pouring out of his chest and he knew life was slowly draining from him. he felt worse than a basket  trying to hold water. He had heard stories about people’s lives flashing before their eyes just before they die. What he was seeing was two people talking. The pain coursing through his whole body was unbearable but somehow he could still hear what they were saying.

“Oh it worked perfectly. Glad we stopped to get the ketchup”. The assassin said with a smile

“Ok now please tell me, who is he? Why did he want to kill me? And why did we have to pretend I was dead?”

“I know this might sound crazy but I was sent to kill you but…”

“Funny how things work” the lady cut the assassin short “I was also sent to kill you.”

   Timmy watched as the lady put three bullets in the assassin’s chest.  “Serves that sonofabitch right” was his last thought, a smile plastered to his face as his soul bid adieu to his limp body.


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Ladies First...

“What will you like to drink sir?” the bartender asked Phillip as he sat down at the bar.

“I’m feeling naughty tonight, how about we break the speed limit, 100 miles per hour please”

“One hundred miles per hour coming up.” The bartender said with a smile that told Phillip he appreciated the joke.

   A few seconds later, the bartender was back with two cocktails. He set one down in front of Phillip and the other down in front of the lady sitting two stools away from Phillip.

   He looked at her and smiled.

“I’m not the only one feeling naughty tonight am I?”

“Apparently not.” She replied with a smile.

And that was how the conversation started.

   Phillip had planned the way the night would go the night before. When she told him her name, he knew it was Katherine with a K not a C even before she told him. He had gathered intel on the lady and felt he knew more about her than she knew about herself. His plan that night was the same as always;

1.       Arrange a meeting.

2.       Get acquainted.

3.       Take her to a hotel room.

4.       Kill her.

His routine for killing men was different.

   As the conversation continued he realized that for the first time in his ten years of being an assassin, he was finding it hard to adhere to the one rule assassins were expected never to break; “Never get attached to the target!”

   Katherine was sweetness personified. She made Phillip feel like they had known each for fifteen years rather than fifteen minutes. She spoke with a voice that pleased Phillip’s ears. To cap it all, she was beautiful. The bar wasn’t too bright but Phillip still couldn't help noticing how stunning she looked in her red dress.

“Too bad I have to kill her” Phillip thought to himself. He had no idea when he made up his mind but five minutes later when they made their way out of the bar, he knew he had to find a way to kill her and still have her alive.

   Phillip scanned the streets and saw a familiar car. He knew they’d be watching him. He thought of a new plan, one that would shield Katherine from danger. Just as they reached his car, Phillip had an idea. He said to Katherine “If you don’t mind, I’ll like to stop at McDonalds before we go back to my room, I’m craving their fries”

Concluding part: http://penbliss.blogspot.com/2012/11/ladies-first-concluding-part.html
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The Debut!!! *A Short Story

…I understand that this is his first game in the NFL but you should really see this kid play. He is something Phil. I tell you, from what I’ve seen him do during practice this might just be his lucky break. He has grown and matured from the sloppy Brian we all are used to and he seemed to have learned a lot in his few months with the Cowboys. For those of you just joining us, I am James Richardson coming to you live alongside my commentary partner; Phil Stevens from the Cowboys’ stadium here in Arlington and you can get choked by the abundant tension in the atmosphere here. Eagles’ fans are loving every minute of this, they are up by 1point with 4seconds to go and all they have to do is prevent the Cowboys from scoring and they are in the playoffs. I must mention that the Cowboys’ starting QB (Quarterback), Jimmy Danzelforth is out with a broken wrist and the backup QB, a rookie from University of Texas, Brian McAustin is getting ready to make his first NFL appearance and what a time to do so, its 4th down here in the 4th quarter and it’s all or nothing for the Cowboys. Can they make this a memorable day for their fans? All eyes are on Brian as the teams line up for scrimmage.


The noise in the stadium is deafening, all I can hear are the loud chants of the Eagles fans. The noise isn’t helping to cool my nerves, it’s my first time on the job and I don’t want to screw things up. It’s my chance to either make it or make it. I can’t afford a break it option. With everything ready, I take one look at my coach; his gentle and barely noticeable nod was supposed to mean trust but I know why I’m here, it has absolutely nothing to do with trust. One mistake and I’m gone. I know I shouldn’t be scared but I can’t help it. The coordination techniques my coach had taught me are near impossible to put to use as the only thing my brain can focus on is what will happen if I hit my target or if I miss. I make up a coordination technique for myself “Think of the action and think of it ending positively” now I feel a whole lot better. I smile, clench my fists and unclench them and slowly I say to myself “It is time”

Wherever you are watching this from, you have to pity the Cowboys. Yes they put themselves in this situation by not winning games at the beginning of the season but they have fought back as a team and it’ll be painful if they lose this game now. It’s their final attempt of this game and their final shot at the playoffs. And it all lies in the hands of Brian McAustin their QB. Can he make a play? Everyone is on their feet as Brian gets ready for the fourth down. If the noise in the stadium was deafening before I don’t know what you want to call it now. Brian takes the snap…

At this very moment the noise suddenly disappears, everything seems to quiet down as the moment I’ve been waiting for arrives. The people around me seem to move slowly and I can swear this came right out of a movie.

He had better release the ball before they hit him. He’s taking too much time; he needs to throw the ball

I know it’s hardest when the target is moving but clear that thought out of my head, narrow my eyes and up my determination level. And I just let it go.

Touchdown!!!

Bull’s eye!!!

The Cowboys have done it and they are going to the playoffs and their fans are rightfully delirious. What a shocker!!! Hold on! Hold on! There’s pandemonium in an area of the stadium. We can’t tell exactly what’s going on but there seems to be trouble in the crowd. It doesn’t look like their celebrating. It actually looks like… they are running. Oh my God, a report just reaching us from the field tells us the QB Brian McAustin has been shot; he’s dead! How on earth…

I’m 30seconds away from completing my escape, 2minutes ahead of schedule. My first day as an assassin and I’m feeling like a pro. Not bad, Jason, not bad!

Forget the air can be a Tornado

Forget the air can be a Tornado

Let the breeze, soothe you

Forget the ocean can be a Tsunami

Let the waves pacify you

Forget the horrors of the dark

Let its warm atmosphere calm you

Forget the semblance of sleep to death

Revel in the sweet dreams it brings you

Let the sunrays hit you

Forget the heat let it warm you

 

Let the raindrops beat you

Forget the cold, let it cool you

Forget the hurt cupid's spear causes

Enjoy the love its tip brings you

Do forget the pain I caused you

I can be good, let me show you!!!

Just a matter of time!!!

A policeman has never had cause to come to our house. When I say “our” I mean my husband and I. For someone who had never been visited by the police I was surprisingly calm. I guess it was ‘cause I knew why they had come or maybe ‘cause I knew there would be no problem. My husband, Danny, had gone to get the door. I cranked the door to the bedroom open a little so I could hear what they were saying.


“Afternoon sir, we are from the New York police department. We got a call from one of your neighbors who claims to have heard noise coming from your apartment. Is everything ok?” asked the cop.

“Yeah everything is alright” Danny replied.

“Are you the only one in there sir?”

“Uhmmm... no, my wife is inside”

“You’ll have to excuse us sir, we’d like to look around and see if everything or rather everyone is ok”

“O… o…ok!”

He must have shown Danny a form of identification because I’m sure he wouldn’t have let him without one. I hurriedly got up and put a veil over my face. Contrary to your thoughts I’m not a Muslim and I’m one who loves to show off her assets but this time I needed one of my assets hidden. I came out to meet the cop before he could get into the bedroom.

“Is there a problem officer?”

“Yes ma’am we got a call from one of your neighbors about a possible case of domestic violence and we are here to make sure everything is okay.” The cop, who looked rather stunning, said calmly.

I looked at Danny, he was scared stiff. Though it wasn’t obvious, I could see it in his eyes. They were begging me not to give him up. I smiled, this by all means was an opportunity to get back at him for all he had been doing to me. The beatings had started a month after we got married and had continued but it had gotten out of hand earlier in the day. Normally when the beating starts, I’ll start pleading with him and won’t raise a finger. I guess I had had enough and I raised more than a finger, I slapped him. Immediately I knew I was dead meat. His whole body changed. He was like a werewolf at a full moon with the way he viciously lunged at me. Fire coming out of his nostrils, well that’s what his breaths felt like, fire, as he pummeled my whole body. It took me 10minutes to escape from him but I eventually locked myself in the bedroom. We had knocked things over and I was screaming my head off as he had landed blow after blow on my whole body. The cops arrived 5minutes later. I had peeped through the bedroom window and told him. You’d never have guessed he was the same person beating me up minutes ago. He started pleading, hitting the door for me to let him in so he could apologize. Prison seemed liked hell on earth to him, who can blame him. The hefty men in the pen would, in no time, turn his butt to a pin cushion and their JTs would be thick pins. He had begged till we had heard the knock at the door.

I looked at the cop and said almost inaudibly, “Everything is alright”. As near inaudible as it was, Danny heard and collapsed into the chair overcome with relief.

I wasn’t scared of Danny. And heaven knows I didn’t pity him one bit. When the cop asked me the question all I could think of were his hands, magical hands I call them. They had the power to numb any pain I had in my body. I thought of his body. The mixture of sweat and cologne has always and would always appeal to the woman in me. His eyes that begged for me to hold on and never let go. His strong arms that made me beg for him never to let go. The sensation that runs through me every time we made love. Heaven knows James was the only reason I didn’t put Danny in jail. You see, James is our gardener, who was working that summer so he could go to college when school resumed in fall… I couldn’t put him out of work just to be comfortable. To be frank he was the one making me comfortable, making me feel loved. One day he won’t need Danny anymore. At that moment that very day, I’ll strike and bite Danny hard. Even if he doesnt attack me, I'll provoke him. Until then I’ll be his punching bag.

The cops left and I looked at Danny… it’s just a matter of time before you become a pin cushion. With that I picked some clothes and my car keys. James darling, get magical hands ready, mama's coming.

My fears!!!

One kind of fear that exists in me


Is that the next moment I won’t see

That every second might be the last

That my dear life would end so fast

That I’ll too early be dead

Is one thing I really dread.



The second of my many fears

Is that I won’t, no matter what, succeed

Even if I live for many years

That failure is a kind of life I’ll lead

That I won’t make a tangible difference

That my long life won’t make any sense…



Another fear I diligently harbor

Is that if I do find success’ door

And I’m intelligent enough to open it

And I’m lucky enough to enter it

Will I let and help others come with me

Will I create and open other doors freely…



Yet another of my numerous fears is this

Will my parents be able to say out loud,

That truly I have made them proud

Will they praise and cheer me with ease?

Or will I be a mistake as their child

Will I be one classified as bad and wild?



My fears don’t end there

If I succeed in helping others

Will I be able to train my children?

Will they be pillars amongst their brethren?

Will I be among the successful fathers?

This is just another fear…



But the one fear that drowns all these

The one that truly gives me peace

One that I have harbored for years

One that towers over my other fears

The other fears are like kennels to me

This one is like a sky scraper you see…



It is the fear of the Almighty

The One who created me

As long as this fear doesn’t decrease

I know the others won’t increase

And if through my life it goes undiminished

Then I do believe it is mission accomplished!!!







proudly written by... R.j...

Tales by phone light or computer light

Today marked the fourth week I’ve been attending classes. Sociology is one course I love so much (that’s cause it looks easy). The class was lively as usual, especially when the instructor asked us this question “if you were given excess change that and we didn’t return it should that be considered stealing?” A guy said, “maybe they want you to tell people that they are giving money at so-so place so people can flood the place.” Now I laughed heartily not only cause it was funny but then he was right… What’s my bizness if the cashier has issues with math. Or itz his buyday and he’z giving out money to celebrate it If he was silly enough to give me plus change, chances are he won’t even notice and everybody ends up happy… Notice I kept saying he? Well with a she, if she is sooooo fortunate to be good looking, she wouldn’t have the problem with me in the first place cuz I’d have told her to keep the change… and if the greenz are kinda low then I wouldn’t want a pretty laydee to get into trouble… you never can tell (*winks*) but if she’s.. you know na… then she must be punished… lol.. ok.. seriously… I personally would return the excess change… my mind no go rest… cuz hey I wuz ready to part with the money in the first place so why not just free ur mind… you get? Believe me I no holy pass ooo…


Ok.. that aside.. I didn’t come out my temporary writing retirement (why are you laughing? Drawing’s been taking lotta my spare tym so technically I temporarily retired from writing... need I tell you what's been taking my "unspare time"?) to bore you with school stuff… well I waz in the library (believe it or not I go library ooo) and I wuz facing a big problem… hell no!, not math or physics or any other course for that matter... if you had guessed gurl problem well… BULL’S EYE… I had walked into the library and my fav. seat wuz taken. I looked around and waz going to the right when I noticed a pretty looking laydee on the left… “Damn!!!” I said to myself “why on earth didn’t I see that quickly?” “Nothing spoil” I continued “He never spoil finish” so I continued towardz the right and went round a row of books and then came back to the spot I had seen the laydee. Of course I took a seat close to her and was doing stuff and listening to Naija songs and Gbenga Adeboye (it amuses me cuz I say to myself, “these american folks will flip if they hear what I’m listening to”). Tried reading a novel but wuz gerring bored and den I started drawing. I tried drawing the laydee but she just won’t stay still. So I drew one woman, I’m sure she’d have sued me to court for deformation of image (I didn’t go to law school, the knowledge of the law is inborn… lol). So PL (pretty laydee) wuz studying and I wuz studying too… not notes duuuuh!!! Her face when she wasn’t looking in my direction and she kinda looked cute too physically. One thing you should know bout me is I don’t lyk to “jump”. The norm for guyz’ll be to go over and start small talk but me, never!!! I just kept on looking at PL. then I got tired and decided to take a nap… had to leave my seat and went to take a more comfortable one… woke up and I waz in luck PL wuz still there… decided to go sit close to her, closer than I wuz before. But a voice kept saying to me “o ni fe te!!! berra sit down wia you are…” and I did. After awhile PL left with a friend who had joined her and I said to myself “the great jonjon has once again messed up” took another nap… and woke up… oh yeah!!! PL wuz there… Then a voice (not that first wicked one ooo) said “jonjon ashe oo tie le(you no tough reash)” so to prove this voice wrong I decided I waz gonna tlk to PL even if it’ll jus be Hi!!! Then the trauma started… standing up con turn wahala… my whole soul could have gone outta my body and the flesh wouldn’t have flinched… twaz rigid… then suddenly I stood up… went to the restroom… had to pee kee!!! Went back and resumed my rigid position… time waz running out and I waz feeling lyk tom cruise in mission impossible… just that this waznt a bomb and bad guyz no dey… dad waz supposed to pick me up at 2 o clock and twaz 1.30… “I’ll make my move when itz 1.45”… “at least if I mess up I fit run comot”… 1.50. “I’ll make my move when 1.55”… and then my body told rigidity VAMONOS!!! And bless the Lord it did… so I stood up and went out of the library… and then I turned back… and went in again… and went to sit at PL’s table…



“Hi!”

“Hi, can I help you?”

“I don’t have a problem so I don’t need help”

“Oh! Sorry then”

“Wait! I do have a problem… may I know your name?

“Why would you want to know my name, do you want to arrest me? I didn’t shoot the guy, my friend did”

“N…no…no… (damn! I should have said yes)”

“Then what do you want my name for?”

“I just want to know your name, my name is Rashid”

“so? Wait! are you a terrorist?

“of course not! ok if that’s not okay wiv you can I have your number?”

“What are you? Stupid? I don’t want to give you my name and you think I’ll give you my number?”

“I… I… it… I… I’m sorry”

“You should be, now stop disturbing me and shoo off”

“Ok!”

Didn’t move…

“what’s the problem Mr terrorist”

Just wondering if I can have ur address?”

“Will you shut up and disappear before I call security”

“Yes! I’ll shut up ma’am”

“Are you a Nigerian?”



Ok… now at this point I gotta tell you that before that question “are you a Nigerian?” the conversation wuz being played in my head and I wuz beezee smiling at the stupid idiot messing himself up in my head… it wuz funny… now back to the conversation… the real one….



“yes”… I must tell you though I had thought PL to be a Nigerian too but I waznt sure… plenty people don shock me… people wiv faces of a typical agbero in oshodi would speak wiv an accent lyk dt of will smith… so I waznt sure but with the question I confirmed that I truly am a Nigerian identifier… lol… ok the convo went on and on… dint get her number… when I wanted to ask I remembered the response I had made in my head (what are you? Stupid?) popped up sharp sharp… gat her name though… sounds nice but I cant pronounce it… lol… but koko be say finally I think I just made my first friend.. yeeeeeeeaaaaaaw!!!





Do note though that it dint really go this way… just added a little sugar and salt and magi to make it interesting… hope you enjoyed it… I know I enjoyed writing it… lol… it’s the one and only, the numero uno, the sole and proud and true owner of the name jonjon deboy…. Lol.. saying adios mis amigos… or berra yet.. Asta la vista Baybees (mimickin’ Arnold)…